It's been a while since I wrote here, I can't remember the last entry, what I wrote about, but here I am.
this morning I woke up to my alarm, first time I'd set one in a while. I'd set it so I could go to my "Coping with Depression Group", something which I've found immensely useful over the last 12 weeks (today was the last session). I felt positive when I woke (mentally & emotionally) but physically not so great.
I did look to see when my last post was, which was back in September. In that time I have noticed a marked improvement on my symptoms. I've changed my diet radically- strictly no wheat, dairy, eggs, yeast. I've been eating mainly fish, and for 6 weeks no meat at all. I also stopped eating potatoes. My weight has continued to drop- I'm now 63kg. (I was 80kg) and I'm feeling and looking a lot better.
In the last 3 months I've been having weekly deep tissue massages at a local women & health centre which provides subsidised treatments. I've also been seeing a naturopath & craniosacral therapist once a fortnight.
The naturopath has been a brilliant support to me, really listening to me, understanding and giving useful advice and guidance on things that could benefit me. She's also given me craniosacral treatments too. The craniosacral treatments I couldn't really notice, except for one time when it completely took away the rather unpleasant headache I was having. What the craniosacral has helped me understand is that I am not in touch with my body. I don't notice how it feels, I'm not aware of it.
I've also joined a "Five Seeds of Wholeness" group within New Unity, a unitarian church that I've received a tremendous amount of support from in the last 4 months. The five seeds are: Connection, Compassion, Mindfulness, Gratitude and Generosity. The mindfulness one has led me to a deeper awareness of just how "unaware" I am of my body. When I attempt to be "mindful" I realise that I'm not, and that is usually because my body is in pain. The more mindful I am, the more I feel the pain. I realise that disconnecting from my body has been an unconscious coping mechanism, and the more aware I am of this, the more I am attempting to let go of it. If I am more aware of the pain in my body, I will also become more aware of what is creating it. The more I become aware of what's causing the pain, the better chance I have of recovering.
That's the approach I'm taking any way.
I've gone from barely being able to walk my dog around the corner twice a day, to being able to get out and meet people 2-3 days a week, which is absolutely fabulous.
But, here's what's happened- I've done too much and then had really, really bad days as a consequence. It's a learning journey and I trust I'll get better at learning how to manage my condition.
I also sincerely hope that I will learn more about what causes my symptoms. There are so many different things out there that purport to have a positive effect. I feel confused about it, how do I know which works? There simply hasn't been enough scientific research done to be sure about any particular approach or method.
this morning I woke up to my alarm, first time I'd set one in a while. I'd set it so I could go to my "Coping with Depression Group", something which I've found immensely useful over the last 12 weeks (today was the last session). I felt positive when I woke (mentally & emotionally) but physically not so great.
I did look to see when my last post was, which was back in September. In that time I have noticed a marked improvement on my symptoms. I've changed my diet radically- strictly no wheat, dairy, eggs, yeast. I've been eating mainly fish, and for 6 weeks no meat at all. I also stopped eating potatoes. My weight has continued to drop- I'm now 63kg. (I was 80kg) and I'm feeling and looking a lot better.
In the last 3 months I've been having weekly deep tissue massages at a local women & health centre which provides subsidised treatments. I've also been seeing a naturopath & craniosacral therapist once a fortnight.
The naturopath has been a brilliant support to me, really listening to me, understanding and giving useful advice and guidance on things that could benefit me. She's also given me craniosacral treatments too. The craniosacral treatments I couldn't really notice, except for one time when it completely took away the rather unpleasant headache I was having. What the craniosacral has helped me understand is that I am not in touch with my body. I don't notice how it feels, I'm not aware of it.
I've also joined a "Five Seeds of Wholeness" group within New Unity, a unitarian church that I've received a tremendous amount of support from in the last 4 months. The five seeds are: Connection, Compassion, Mindfulness, Gratitude and Generosity. The mindfulness one has led me to a deeper awareness of just how "unaware" I am of my body. When I attempt to be "mindful" I realise that I'm not, and that is usually because my body is in pain. The more mindful I am, the more I feel the pain. I realise that disconnecting from my body has been an unconscious coping mechanism, and the more aware I am of this, the more I am attempting to let go of it. If I am more aware of the pain in my body, I will also become more aware of what is creating it. The more I become aware of what's causing the pain, the better chance I have of recovering.
That's the approach I'm taking any way.
I've gone from barely being able to walk my dog around the corner twice a day, to being able to get out and meet people 2-3 days a week, which is absolutely fabulous.
But, here's what's happened- I've done too much and then had really, really bad days as a consequence. It's a learning journey and I trust I'll get better at learning how to manage my condition.
I also sincerely hope that I will learn more about what causes my symptoms. There are so many different things out there that purport to have a positive effect. I feel confused about it, how do I know which works? There simply hasn't been enough scientific research done to be sure about any particular approach or method.
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