When is the Health Service going to provide support?

I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia and IBS in October 2010, it's now July 2011, in that whole time I received 12 weeks Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and nothing else.

I'm still ill, my illness prevents me from enjoying my life.  It has negative effects on my friendships (I often have to cancel last minute for plans I've made because I just don't have the energy).

It has negative effects on my relationship- I get grumpy, short tempered when I'm tired and my body is in pain.  I get over emotional when I have to ask for help.

It prevents me from working- I am unreliable, I cannot commit fully to being able to provide a service at a specified time.


Today I went to the doctors, I was in tears, I'm distraught, I can't live my life.

It's been a while since I posted, I was away from home for most of June, my boyfriend and I went to Ireland and Arizona (he paid, because I can't earn money because I can't work, because I'm not well).

The travel on the flights was difficult, for the first time in my life I asked to use a wheelchair, because I needed to.  I was unable to walk to security, to the gates, standing in queues was just unbearable.

It caused tension with my boyfriend, we both found it difficult to handle, he thought I'd be fine, as we were flying first class.  I saw it as him telling me I didn't really need help, when it had taken me a lot of courage to admit that actually, you know what?  I need help.

It's ok to ask for help.

I was wheeled through the airports, and as I was, and we came to a stop and I was able to stand up and go through the xray machine I felt guilty.  I felt guilty for being in the wheelchair, if I could walk, why wasn't I?

The truth is I could have walked, it would have been extremely uncomfortable & painful for me though.

So today I went back to the health profession to ask for help again.  The doctor I saw is going to send a letter to the consultant asking them to see me sooner than the next arranged appointment (October).  The consultant only sees Chronic Fatigue patients once per year it seems.

I have to learn to keep asking for help, letting go of the guilt and shame for doing so, and maybe, just maybe I might receive appropriate support so that I can recreate health in my body.